Another form of rest that is often misunderstood is the need for social rest.
Introverts of the world unite! If, in your heart of hearts, you got all excited about this type of rest because you thought you would be able to isolate yourself… I have some good and bad news. The bad news is simply that this kind of rest is actually the opposite of what you might think; it is a rest that is spent engaging in community in relationship with others. But the good news is you may have found the specific rest your needing.
Chances are you know what it means to feel alone in a crowd? Some of the loneliest times I’ve ever had were in a large group of people. Social rest at its simplest is about finding YOUR people. These are the people that you can be your truest self with, that you are comfortable around, and that you can be vulnerable with. It’s the friend you don’t pick up your house up for or the one who, after spending an hour at the coffee shop, you're ready to take on the world with.
The truth is that most relationships take from us. We hide who we are and what we think because we want to be liked and we don’t want to offend. The World often uses that pressure against us counting on social pressures to manipulate action. There are social rules and a certain level of gatekeeping that will happen just to be “polite.” Spoiler alert; some social interactions are just going to be superficial….and even more-so if they’re online.
I think that is one of the greatest challenges for this generation. We are striving to interact with hundreds, even thousands, of people on a daily basis through our digital platforms when, really, we were designed to have a small inner circle of very close friends. We do not have the purview nor the authority to tackle the amount of news feeds and legitamate needs there is out there! We were designed, rather, to serve primarily where we physically are.
In relationships, quality is always better than quantity.
You may not be aware, but, Jesus had an inner circle he called disciples….and even an inner, inner circle within those disciples in Peter, James, and John. But even from a ministry standpoint, Jesus didn’t minister as often to the thousands as he did in taking time for individuals. He saw people when he ministered, and took care of them in a real and personal way despite the crowds.
If you are trying to maintain too many relationships it will end in social overload….. try to maintain too little, and you will be starving for connection. I get it. Finding your People can be difficult. So, look for a common community, of people who have some of the shared experiences you have. Look for other like- minded believers and acknowledge that our friends will either spur us on towards Christ or slowly push us away from Him. Make friends with people you can admire, those you WANT to be more like. It might take some work initially to expand your network of friends(I hate even using the word ‘network’ here as I’m afraid it could be taken negatively, but I am talking about relationships we are invested in.) It will likely feel awkward at first; don’t let that hinder you.
Ultimately, it is always best to ask God to direct you. Years ago, in the throes of “little kids”, I told the Lord how incredibly lonely I had become. I was feeling the lack of support and spent most of my time at home, isolated from others my age. During a morning worship service at church, I remember begging God to provide for me a friend. “Please God, anyone will do!” At that moment, I looked out into the congregation and spotted a woman my age who I did not know well and sensed in my spirit that the Lord was saying, “What about her?” I knew very little about her but something in her manner of speaking and the stories she told caused me to buffet “Well, anyone but her. Are you sure God?” He did not relent. After the service I sheepishly went up to this person I barely knew and gave her my number, “Call me sometime.” I said. “We should hang out…that is, if you want to.” We exchanged numbers and she did call, many times.
It turns out the Lord knew what He was doing in putting us together. This woman walked we me through some extremely difficult times of my life. She has helped me in ways that I cannot communicate fully and still remains to be one of my most cherished friends.
So often, all we have to do is ask and listen. If you are walking through a season of loneliness right now, and know Jesus as your Savior and Lord, take heart! For when God’s Spirit lives inside of you, you can never be completely alone. Likewise, God’s good design includes fellow believers. Psalm 68 calls him “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows” one who, “Sets the lonely in families.” He cares. He most certainly has been there for me in my times of need, and I know He will be there for you as well.
