Emotional Rest; Rest Pt. 2

Too many tabs open to be running on caffeine, and living on a prayer?

I feel that.

In this series we are exploring the various areas of rest. We began, appropriately, with Spiritual rest since our relationship with Jesus is the most important factor in all of life.  We will deal with many other areas of rest, some of which may surprise you, but dealing in the realm of the spirit, first, will trump any physical circumstances we could arrange. After all, how many times have we heard of God’s sustaining power through extremely difficult times? We know that if we have peace in our heart from the Lord, that rest, will always sustain us.

This brings up another important area that is similar to the spiritual rest we have already covered. It is, surely, encompassed by the spiritual rest God gives us but it is also rooted in our daily need for the gospel. I am talking about emotional rest. When we come to Christ in repentance, we are given a new heart and new desires. This does not mean that our emotions and desires will forever be perfect for we still have our old sin nature that we will struggle against. Enter the need for emotional rest.

Scripture tells us how we can begin to gain some ground in this area. It teaches us that we are to live in the truth of scripture. In order to manage ourselves correctly we must capture our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5) This is turn will, eventually, affect our emotions and ultimately our actions as well. Testing everything by the crucible of truth(God’s Word) will produce a healthy, well seeing, rightly adjusted, and happy individual. Yet, the work must be done, we can’t simply ignore our emotions and expect health. Ignore your anger and you will become bitter, ignore your grief and you can fight yourself depressed; hurt becomes resentment, indifference begets disgust, and shock gives way to fear.

Emotions are always changing.

We must learn to bring our messy, erratic, or missing emotions to God. We need to learn to process our emotions in the proper way. An emotional rant on social media does not qualify as processing your emotions-no matter how therapeutic it feels in the moment. Processing emotions involves discovering why you feel the way you feel and being able to pinpoint where that feeling originated from.

Emotional rest is the cessation of (not sensation, but cessation-the bringing an end to) emotional striving. A lot of us are emotionally in knots and don’t even realize it. Is there conflict at work? Are you asked to deal with difficult people? Do you have a teenager, young adult, or grown child whose decisions are constantly weighing on you? Are you grieving the loss of a dream or adjusting to new, difficult circumstances? For something to count as an emotional stressor all there needs to be is a striving, a heart felt desire, an ache, a passion, a tension or pressure, and you may even find that you feel it physically before you are able to identify it emotionally.

Women are said to be more “emotional,”and while I can neither confirm nor deny these claims,  I do believe the Lord has made us to be highly relational. And really, it’s our superpower. It is what makes us able to easily read the room, drives us to champion the disadvantaged, and helps us in nurturing our children. On the flip-side it can also make us more susceptible to high or difficult emotions, vulnerable to manipulation, or even effect endurance.

When we try to empathize with others, we will almost automatically synchronize our expression, posture, movements, or even our vocalization. Anyone else embarrass themselves by picking up the accents from those around you? In the same way, we can also mimic emotion. What emotions are you catching from those around you, and what are you throwing onto others?

A 2013 study out of Brown University asked the question, “Is divorce Contagious?” Researchers found that women were 75% more likely to get a divorce if a close friend or family member had recently gone through one. Those numbers are staggering! The negative perspective of one wife about her own husband has the power to effect her friends and their marriages.

As People of Faith we are taught that the battlefield is in the mind. It makes sense that if my sister in Christ sows the seed of discord in my mind, just from her OWN experiences and about her OWN husband, then if I allow those thoughts to grow in MY heart I might soon find myself discontent in MY marriage. It’s like, “Well, my husband doesn’t do the dishes either….I think I’m kinda mad about that.” If we aren’t careful, it only takes a small seed of division to break apart our churches and homes.

I’m not advocating to cut off every person in your life who complains. In fact, some of us can be carrying very heavy burdens where we NEED the support of others to navigate it well. I think of Naomi in the Bible who said, “Call me Myra,” which means bitter. Her relatives didn’t cut her off of tell her she was being unreasonable. She was walking through grief and need time to heal.  It’s a ministry of grace and comfort that allows people time to grieve and talk about their struggles.

Still, we should guard against taking on the negativity of another person particularly when it’s someone who bares a harsh and critical spirit. Who is the grumbler in your life and who refreshes you? If you have had to spend a large amount of time with someone who is very life- draining, you might try to spend some time with someone who is very life-giving, especially on those days your struggling yourself.

This is also not avoiding hard conversations or avoiding others in difficult circumstances. We want to weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh. (Romans 12:15) We need each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, to remain faithful, be sharpened, and to see those blind spots we cannot see, ourselves. There is nothing wrong with setting some healthy, biblical boundaries!

Still, it is my belief that the bulk of emotional strain is often internal. Have you appropriately dealt with your own guilty conscience and shame? Don’t hide. It I can be very difficult to remain honest when we talk about our sin. We don’t want to be guilty. We want our actions to appear reasonable.

Even Adam hid in the garden, it is the most natural reaction to shame. Still, God made him explain what he had done and pursued this hard conversation with him. It was not from a desire to hurt Adam(though it would have been very painful in the moment) but, in fact, to begin the process of repentance and healing.

Hiding drains us. We all need a place that we can be honest without condemnation, but perhaps even more importantly we need to hear the truth from the scriptures. Ultimately, whether alone or with the aide of a trusted friend, we need to take all our burdens to the cross. My sin, held tight, will always destroy. My sin, confessed and surrendered to Jesus, is atoned for and will not be allowed to destroy me because it has been placed on HIM! The sting is taken out of it.That which was meant for my destruction becomes my testimony (my stone of remembrance) and that is a thing  that only God has the power to do. My emotional rest does not hinge on my abilities but in my relationship with Christ. Believing what he says about me and accepting the identity that he has purchased for me is paramount to my peace.

Quit comparing yourself to others. Quit competing for God’s love.

You have it.

The enemy knows comparison limits individuality and competition stirs up strife! God made you a specific way, for a specific purpose. If we pretend to act identical to the other Christians in our life and refuse to embrace the differences  that set us apart, we will miss out on the blessing. In many ways, then, rest comes by embracing your sanctified, authentic, self. How good it is to be the person God made you to be and to know that He has secured your good-standing before Him, forever.